When to fold em

After a series of conversations with friends, I was inspired to write this post.

We all have to learn how to say no - it is as simple as that, but and it is a BIG but, most of the time you should be saying yes.

Hear me out, say yes to enough things and, eventually, you get opportunities, insights and a diverse range of experiences. By doing this, you can better understand when to say no.

So, first step is to say yes and expand your perspective. Second step is learning to pull back and say no to the things that don’t light you up. Saying no can be one of the most difficult things you can do - it will lead to lost friendships, difficult conversations or even closed doors, but what it can do is free you up to do the things that are actually important to you. The trick is, holding yourself accountable to do with that time or space what matters most to you or your goals.

I have always loved Derek Sivers’ advice (Read the chapter on him in Tim Ferris’ book - Tools of Titans) where he states that, if something isn’t a ‘HELL YES’ then the answer should probably be a ‘No’. Although sound advice - it can be a double edged sword that you should use wisely.

So, I have probably left you with more questions then answers - but, in summary, saying yes or no shouldn’t just be a response to an offer, question or opportunity, think about your options and how they make you feel. Do they light you up? Do they make you feel weaker? Do they frustrate you? Whatever you do, pause, listen and, above all - if you are unsure, always remember option c and let them know that you’ll ‘Think about it’.