Finding an alternative to the word selfish.
Lately I have been trying my best to find a word to describe to others how I am spending time on myself and achieving my goals. The word I have often referred to is ‘selfish’, but I am only carving out spare time in my week to spend on the things I find to be important, so is selfish the right word to be using? Lately I have found myself clutching for a new word to use because selfish, as word to describe my use of time as a way to of placing development and inner peace at the forefront of importance in my week, just seems wrong.
Let’s take a closer look at it’s definition -
Selfish: (Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
- Oxford dictionary
So, with so many negative connotations that go along with selfishness, it is also clear that the word is probably being used out of context. So how exactly should I be describing my actions? Why should the world perceive time spent on one’s own development as being all for one’s self? In my research for an alternative I came across a website where a woman in 1999 posted this very same question (I have linked it at the end of this article for those who want to do some internet archaeology).
A butterfly helps to pollinate plants – although this action isn’t done to satisfy the world’s need for pollinated plants, it does so to reach nectar, the very food it requires to survive. They are insects that are helping the cogs of the planet to continue to turn on a daily basis. The butterfly’s very existence is an act that helps to keep the planet in order, but if we take a step back, before this insect had wings, it was a caterpillar – a ‘selfish’ creature only interested in survival – eating and defending itself from predatory creatures. By being a creature of selfishness, and placing all of it’s energy towards it’s single goal of becoming a butterfly, the world’s pollinating plants can continue to survive. Selfishness is what allowed the butterfly to exist.
In today’s fast pace world, spending time on oneself can be considered an act of defiance. Where gaming in your room, drinking with friends, gaming or shopping are acts that are widely accepted as forms of enjoyment and fun, development, striving for excellence and making continual self-progress can be frowned upon by others. Time dedicated to simply achieving one’s own goals are not always celebrated by others as they shine a light on many of the things that require more attention in their own lives. If we aren’t aiming towards being a better version of ourselves, are we not letting down the very people we care for and the communities in which we are apart of? So what, in fact, is more of an act of selfishness? Developing yourself, or choosing not to? Focussing on your health, or ignoring it?
So, for those who do not believe the word selfish is suitable as a word to describe themselves and how they are choosing to use their time, I propose the word ‘Indora’, granted, that it is a word that I have just invented. A combination of two words, Individual and Ora. Ora, in Greek, simply means time.
In my words indora means: The use of time by an individual in the form of creative endeavours, self-reflection, and practices focussed on one’s own health.
In context: ‘I have been quite indorish over these past few weeks’
Okay, so the word may take a while to catch on, but being a part of today’s society means we have less quiet time and less quality time to ourselves than ever before. So much so that as soon as we wake up in the morning our time can be divided evenly up amongst several people and the tasks they have set us (Bosses, parents, friends, lecturers, teachers etc.). So why, when we want to spend time ourselves for our own development or health, should we feel bad for it? Why should time spent deliberately improving oneself be something we shy away from? Why should we feel selfish for working toward becoming a better person for not only ourselves, but our friends, family and the broader community?
So, dear reader, take a leaf out of the caterpillars book and understand that becoming your best form and helping the world to continue tinkering away first means being indorish. Give yourself the space and time to repair, recover and achieve. Allow yourself to use your time in a transformative manner, with no hesitations and no hard feelings. The world needs you to spread your wings and we will all be the better for it when you do.
That link to a conversation chain I mentioned from back in 1999: https://www.theatlantic.com/past/docs/unbound/fugitives/selfish.htm
